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Emirates cabin
Emirates cabin

 

Dear Emirates ,

Good morning, how are you today? My guess is you are scattered all around the world making money (you living the life mehn!!!!)

emirates
emirates

The last time I was on you/in you (grammars’ dwindling.. help!)

You asked me to rate you: and I really rated you!

I rated you ZERO!!!

In fact, if I were a teacher and you the student, I would have marked you

“-0″ (I hope this is the least number in numeracy.. if not, prompt me I’ll be back to re-rate them)

See… I did the rating too in anger and this not the regular kind of anger (oh yes!)

It’s the anger you get when you don’t “land” and the man gets off to sleep (whew!)

And this is all because of something you did.

Well… there were a few things you did I didn’t like though, like how you make me feel when I fly economy.. But il try and take that as you motivating me to make more money.. Like how it took 2years and five of your nice crew members for me to get Panadol(i forgive you for that too)

But there is one thing I can’t forgive you for… that WAAKYE

***     **    ***   **

When I saw the waakye on the menu, I was super excited…i started salivating almost immediately! Especially because I knew it was going to come with a touch of class (dressed on a designer plate)

Yep!

Then the WAAKYE finally came…

Except it came looking pathetic: like she had just lost her mum. She looked thin (like 3 spoonfuls),no gari, no talia and the most depressing thing about this whole WAAKYE  experience was that there was no wele or even meat wearing wele.

How!

Am sure you poached the guy who cooked it from Kempinski (I’ve seen some devastating pictures from them of waakye with most of her body parts missing from the plate)

And this is why I can’t forgive you.

And oh!  the waakye didn’t cook well.

Waakye should come out of the pot, soft and relaxed like a woman who has just returned from the labour ward.. Not as hard and stiff as those grains you served me!

waakye
How I want my waakye

And the feeling after eating that meager waakye was just annoying! It was so small it vanished before reaching my esophagus.

That WAAKYE experience on the flight ruined my rather nice flight. (you know you are my favorite airline right?)

 

But there is something you can do to atone me buddy.

I’ll be coming back to Ghana next week.. So you can quickly release your Kempinski guy to go for in-service training at Anti Muni; so he can learn the tricks of the game!

Get a bigger serving bowl and add wele(or at least meat with the wele jacket!)

I’ll eat that.. And then I will rate you 5star maybe 6 and I’ll re-write this article.

But till then let me leave you with a very Ghanaian advice:”if you can’t spell,abeg don’t  write!

OK bye

Yours’faithfully

Esi Senyiwa

(Radio Maxx, Takoradi)

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